Jeff Bezos Strapped Six More People To A Blue Origin Penis Rocket In Hopes Of Becoming Most Handsome Bachelor On Earth

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Screenshot: Blue Origin via YouTube

Jeff Bezos is a lot of things. He’s rich, he’s powerful, he’s bald, he’s divorced and he’s only 5’7”. However, there is one thing Jeff isn’t: the most handsome man on the planet. However, today he briefly moved up six spots on the list of most handsomest boys.

That’s because his vanity project — I mean space exploration program — sent six more people to space earlier today. It was Blue Origin’s fourth crewed spaceflight, according to Space.com. It was also the 20th spaceflight of the New Shepard vehicle.

How lovely.

Here’s Jeffrey!

Here’s Jeffrey!
Photo: Joe Raedle (Getty Images)

This was also the first time there weren’t any celebrities strapped into the penis rocket, though SNL star Pete Davidson was supposed to be onboard.

His seat was taken by someone who probably deserved it more: Longtime Blue Origin employee and chief architect of the New Shepard system Gary Lai, who reportedly took the penis rocket ride for free.

“I don’t know that I could even, [that] words could do that justice. You just have to feel it,” Lai told Blue Origin employee Sarah Knights after exiting the capsule. Knights, known as “Crewmember 7″ guided the astronauts throughout their flight preparations.

The five other people on board all paid their way through and would make delicious entrees for Sebastian Stan to eat. (Also you should watch Fresh. It’s wild.)

In fact, tickets are so expensive that Blue Origin doesn’t even disclose prices. It’s like Rolls Royce in the ‘60s. They provided adequate money. If you have to ask for the price, you probably can’t afford it.

Unfortunately, Jeff’s move up in the handsome rankings only lasted about 10 minutes when the ship returned to earth and touched down in the desert.

Perhaps when lil Jeff is alone on his boat in the middle of the ocean, he will be the most handsome fella for miles.

A boy can only dream.

Reference-jalopnik.com

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